Freedom & Captivity Primary Source Sets

What Kinds of People are in Prison?

Source 1 - Artifact

Source 2 - Document

LISTEN TO THE SOUND RECORDING

Transcript (written copy of the sound recording):

“People want to know that the people they’re surrounding themselves around really, really care about them. People want to be closer to their loved ones, or be able to experience making a con-nection with someone that could be a loved one. Those are the things that don’t happen here.

And so every night when people go to bed here, and either you’re looking at the ceiling or you’re looking at the bottom of the bunk above you, at those moments you’re really in touch with where your fears are, and what you want to do. And people don’t want to die in prison. Nobody wants to die in prison. And nobody wants to die – not just being alone, but let me personalize this a little bit.

Not only do I not want to die in prison, but I don’t want to die with this stigma that is associated with my being in prison. I don’t want people to say, ‘yeah, Bobby Payzant could’ve, should’ve done all this, but he chose to be this instead.’ I don’t want the actions of my past to dictate how I am perceived for the rest of my life. I want the things that I’m doing today to weigh in on that. And I don’t feel like if I continue my life in prison, that that really happens in an adequate manner.

Because you’re locked away, people don’t see you. We’re not given a platform or a format to share who we are. And so people out there, a lot of people who are suffering because they were victimized by people like myself, you know, they have that one view. And nobody’s out there say-ing ‘hey, there’s more to it than that.’ While at the same time acknowledging their grief and their pain.

Because I don’t want anyone to misunderstand what I say – I own what I did, and my victim, and I made sure I said this to him in court- did not have that coming to him. He didn’t deserve that. And I live with that. You know, because if someone knows me and they get to know me when I’m not high, when I’m not making bad decisions, they know that I’m a very caring person and that I want to add something to your life, I don’t want to take away.

And so to have become that person that was stealing and taking away from people, and neglect-ing the person who I am, my core self, you know. That eats me up. That eats me up. And I can’t say sorry enough times. So what do I do? I think about it, and I say, okay, well moving forward, be-cause I have to move forward, what do I do? “

Interview clip provided by Safe Space Radio. Full interview available at https://safespaceradio.com/prisoners-and-hospice

Source 3 - Sound Recording

Freedom & Captivity Primary Source Sets developed in collaboration between the Maine State Archives, Maine State Library, and Maine State Museum.

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